Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

Taxi driving is a sedentary profession. That's a fancy way of saying that you sit on your arse almost all of the time. I'll be sharing a seat with my butt for 98% of my shift. I will exit the cab to help a disabled passenger or a person with a lot of shopping. I will leave the cab to buy something to sustain me through the night. Like chocolate. Too much chocolate, in fact. As my waistline will confirm. I'll leave for a call of nature. Either to a pub/hotel or a welcoming quiet spot behind a bush. Other than those reasons stated above, I will rarely leave the cab. Perhaps on a quiet night, on the rank, to chat with other drivers. The job is not physically demanding, but it IS mentally tiring. Especially in winter time, when visibility is poor, due to lack of light or heavy rain. The rain and Subsequent poor visibility requires you to concentrate more and therefore you get tired earlier. And in Scotland, it rains. A lot. I think it would be wonderful to drive a cab in Southern California or some such sun-drenched land. I'm often asked if I like the bad weather better because it leads to more hires. Actually, sometimes it leads to more work and other times it doesn't. Allow me to explain. If it's a traditionally quiet night, like a Monday or Tuesday for instance, and people are at home, mulling over the notion of going out for the evening, and they look out the window. It's raining, and they think, 'This is a night for the house'. On a Friday or Saturday, most folk want to go out because they've been working all week, and maybe have something booked. So they'll go out regardless of the weather. That's when we can have a busy night. Also when the rain comes out of the blue. That helps. If I'm having a quiet night, I get out and do a rain dance. That presents a pretty picture, doesn't it? Me dancing around chanting, with a head full of feathers. I suppose it makes a change from having a head full of broken bottles! In any case, we need never worry, for very long, about a lack of water in our beautiful country. No hose pipe ban is ever on the horizon. Which is why Glasgow is known as the 'dear green place'. The rain makes for greenness among the flora. It's the same with Ireland. Known as the Emerald Isle. It's so green due to the rainfall. This year, the year of the commonwealth games in Glasgow, we were extremely lucky to have great weather for the vast majority of the 11 days the games were staged. Many visitors from all over the world came to our dear green city, and hopefully left with a good impression of Glaswegians and our old city. Even the weather was good, as I said before. Hopefully, they'll come back in their drives and tell their skeptical friends. "Hey, see that Glasgow? I was there and the weather was grand!"  We fooled them, folks. We fooled 'em all.

Celebrity Fares

This is actually an issue I covered in a previous blog a couple of years back. However, I'm using this trimmed down method of blogging from now on, as I find it a helluva lot less complicated than the aforementioned way.

I've had quite a few famous people over the years. Not any really world famous names though. Some fairly well known actors, TV personalities, and various footballers.

Among the actors I have had are John Hannah, Alex Kingston, Peter Mullan, Ford Keirnan, Greg Hemphill, Paul Reilly, Johnny Beattie, Kenneth Cranham, Alex Norton, Colin McCredie, John Michie, Shellsuit Bob, PC Plum.

Sporting personalities included Neil Lennon, Walter Smith, Tom Boyd, Richard Gough, Graeme Sharpe, Tony Watt, James Forrest, Colin Jackson, Craig Moore, Claudio Reyna, Alan Thompson, Jim White, Gabby and Kenny Logan, Iain Ferguson, Maurice Edu, Jim Delahunt, Iain McColl, Iain Durrant.

Other dignitaries who have had the pleasure of travelling in my cab are Donald Findlay, Kevin Bridges, Wendy Alexander, Shereen Nanjiani (no laughing at the back there, guys), Justin Currie, the drummer from Franz Ferdinand and the guys from Snow Patrol.

Not exactly the A-List, but they were all really nice apart from the alleged footballer, Craig Moore, who was a bit of a dick.

These folk are just ordinary human beings out on a night out. I mean, it must be difficult for them to go out and enjoy a peaceful evening without some twat approaching them in a bar or restaurant and uttering the Classic line, "It's you, isn't it?". How the hell do you respond to such inane drivel?  "No, it's not me, it's someone else".

When they travel in my taxi, I try to talk about something other than their fame and what they do for a living, although sometimes that can be difficult. Especially if you know fuck all else about them. Some have told me they don't mind folk uttering their famous catchphrase at them, as it flatters them that people remember.

Maybe one day, if I ever achieve fame myself, then they will be telling their kids, "I was in that Gerry McDonald's cab once".

Setting The Record Straight

I'd like to begin my new blog by going on the defensive. Well, actually, I'd just like to set the record straight with regard to the reputation that Licensed Glasgow Taxi drivers have. We are commonly known as Black Hacks. Even the ones among us who have different coloured cabs, and my three best friends in the game have silver cabs, and another one has a red cab, are known as hacks, black or otherwise.

The nomenclature in our profession out of the way for now, let's look at the typical Glasgow cabbie. What is the public perception of us? I think in general that most people appreciate the service we provide. Especially when it is raining, cold, early/late hours, and they are running late. Every driver is different. I'm a chatty, happy person most of the time. However, when people do not wish to chat, which I am able to discern pretty early on in the journey, then I will respect that, remain quiet and civil, and take them to their destination.

I have many customers who I have to correct with regard to common misconceptions about our long standing trade. “Are you charging double at Christmas and the New year, driver?”, being one of the more common myths. In fact, over the festive period, we are cheaper than private hire. Most people do not realise this. We charge an extra £1 on Boxing Day and January 2nd, and on Christmas Day and New Years Day, it's only an extra £1.80, which applies to any length of journey.

A bone of contention between the public and the cabby is the famous 'Boundary Charge'. This is a charge which applies for journeys outside the city of Glasgow. The reasons for the charge is the fact that we are not allowed to pick up outside Glasgow, and have to return with an empty taxi, incurring many more dead miles. The boundary charge is at the driver's discretion. It's usually meter price plus 1/3, or a fixed price. Both to be negotiated before the fare begins. The driver can charge a boundary as soon as the boundary line is crossed. However, most guys I know will give a little leeway. Perhaps 1/2mile or a mile by the boundary before charging. That's what I usually do. By  the terms of our licence, we are entitled to refuse a hire outside the city boundary.

Like any profession, there are a small number of rogues. Guys who do not communicate with others, do not adhere to the taxi drivers (unwritten) code of conduct, with regard to other drivers, and treat the paying public with contempt. These chaps, and the odd female, are few in number, thankfully, and are pretty well known to the rest of the drivers. Almost nightly, I have to apologise to my customers for the behaviour of the odd driver. Of course, the public usually know that these guys are not typical of the usual Glasgow cabbie. I always say to people if they think they have been ripped off or treated badly, or didn't like the driver's attitude, then by all means report the matter to the GCC licensing department.

I've been a driver for fifteen years, and I do my very best to treat everyone with equal respect, whether they work in a fast food outlet or the High Court of Glasgow. I expect the same from the general public, and in the vast majority of fares, that's exactly what people do. Glasgow folk are friendly and the salt of the earth, in most cases. I pick up all social classes, races, creeds, sexuality and nationalities. There are none 'better' than any other. Like my life outside of the taxi, if they treat me well, I will treat them well. Be nice to me, and I'll be nice to you. Every night, I learn something new from the people I pick up. Or I make a new friend. Life is all about learning, and my trade gives me the opportunity, on a nightly basis, to do just that.